A Letter to My Daughters On their Adoption Day

Dear Joy and Mira,

Good morning sweet little ones. There are so many thoughts I want to express to you today, but you are too small to understand. 15 months ago we first met. We had known about you for a few weeks at that time, and had already been praying for you both. When I look back on the pictures of that first night, I see now the look of confusion and instability that was in your eyes. We were a new home to you, new parents, a new big sister, new beds, a whole new life. I can’t imagine what goes through a one year old’s mind on an evening like that. But in all the potential for fear, God through His perfect plan brought you to us.

I want you to know what adoption is, and what it means. I want to share with you the fullness of this sweet and special day in order to give you a beautiful confidence for the rest of your life.

Adoption means I Love You

Adoption means I Love You. This is not a love that can change, that will vary. This is not a love that you will earn or lose based on your performance. There is no report card in this love. There is just you and me, and my commitment to you. You can’t lose this love. If one day you rebel against me or choose to run from me, I will still pursue you with this love.  This is not just any kind of love.  I’m talking about love the way the scriptures define it, “By this we know love, that he (Jesus) laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.” This love comes from God. It’s the way God loves his children. Adoption is quite literally the way the Bible says that God has loved me. And as best as God empowers me, it’s the way I will love you.

Adoption means Assurance

Adoption means Assurance. Assurance that tomorrow this will be your home. Assurance that allows you to rest easy and confidently despite the storms life will throw at you. Assurance that nobody is going to pick you up one day and take you to new parents or tell you that you don’t belong. Assurance that says, “You do belong. You belong here.” Let this assurance rest deeply in your heart. No matter what you do, you can’t lose this new name of yours.

Adoption means Fullness

Adoption means Fullness. When you come to this family you are not a second tier member. You are my daughters, as much as your big sister Ruth. You receive the full blessings of this family with no partiality. All the fun and all the crazy and all the silly and all the beautiful, it’s all yours in full. Whatever blessings the Lord bestows on us, will be yours to experience. And whatever hardships the Lord leads us through, will be yours to share in and learn from together with each of us.

Adoption means Celebration.

Adoption means Celebration.  A celebration of who you are, who God made you to be. Both of you are beautifully and wonderfully made. God knew exactly what He was doing when he stitched you together in the womb. All the ways that make each of you unique are now part of this family and shape this family. My life will now forever be strengthened by each of your unique contributions. As much as God has given Sara and I the responsibility to teach you as your parents, I know that God is also already using both of you to teach me and to shape me. So I invite you to be you in all of your beauty.

Adoption is so much more than just this, but it is not less.  You are home now.  I love you Joy and Mira.

Love Dad

Written by Raef Chenery

I'm a pastor in Chicago at Park Community Church - South Loop. I'm a husband to my beautiful wife Sara and a dad to three sweet girls, Ruth, Joy, and Mira. I'm blessed to be surrounded by a number of men and women who love to think about the ways that our faith interacts with our culture. This blog is as much for me to get my thoughts in order, as it is for those who might benefit from it and engage in the conversations as well. I would love to get your feedback through the comments on each post.

2 comments

  1. Dear Raef, Grandma and I are so very proud of you and Sara. The letter to your daughters is so beautiful and heart felt it brings tears to our eyes. GOD bless all five of you.
    Grandpa German

    Like

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